How do you get over a breakup?

What's the first thing to do after a breakup?

In the first few days, the goal isn't to feel better. It's to avoid doing anything you'll regret. Don't text them, don't check their social media, and don't make big decisions. Sleep, eat, and tell someone you trust.

If you got dumped this week, there's a guide for those days: what to do if you just got dumped.

What should you do in the first month after a breakup?

Build a bare-minimum routine. When your head is a mess, set times hold the day together, not motivation. A month won't heal you, but it gives your days their shape back.

• Get up at the same time every day.
• Make yourself a meal, even a simple one.
• Move for twenty minutes. Walking counts.
• Talk to someone for real: a call, a coffee.
• Write for ten minutes about whatever keeps going around in your head.

Should you cut contact with your ex?

Yes, at least for a while. As long as you keep getting news about them, your mind can't make sense of what happened. Watching their stories counts as contact too, even if nobody knows.

• Decide before the hard moment comes. At 3 a.m., nobody holds the line on willpower alone.
• Mute before you block. It's almost always enough.
• Write down your reasons now and keep them where you can read them in the middle of the night. More on this in no contact.

What if I text them or check their social media again?

You don't lose your progress. What matters isn't that it never happens, it's how quickly you get back on track. If it already happened, don't beat yourself up, and pick your routine back up the next day.

Setbacks usually have three triggers: nighttime, alcohol, and empty stretches of time, like Sunday afternoons. If you know them, you can prepare for those moments.

How do you know you're getting over the breakup?

You think about your ex less often and less intensely, and you get back to what you were doing sooner. It's not about never thinking about them. It's about those thoughts no longer costing you the whole day.

Your memory will often tell you that you feel the same as you did weeks ago. Writing down how you felt each day, even in one word, lets you see the change. If months go by with no change at all, or you have thoughts of hurting yourself, talk to a professional. If it's urgent, call your local emergency number.